Work excuses

Excuses

For getting out of a day, a meeting or the last hour before 5. Our three excuse lists hold 200 each, rated by how many follow-up questions they draw. For a whole day off, start with the excuses to get out of work. The fake sick list holds 48 lines for the call itself, each with its odds of getting caught.

Looking busy

For days at your desk with nothing due: 22 moves, ranked by what each one costs. Then how to keep Microsoft Teams from switching you to Away, and what your boss can see when it does.

Why people need work excuses

People need work excuses because asking for time off is the hard part. 78% of US workers leave some paid time off unused, and 49% get nervous asking for it.

Time off without asking

Some people don’t ask at all. Among Americans aged 18 to 34, 46% have taken time off without permission because of burnout. 36% have faked being online while handling family matters.

Excuses that take one line

Some moments need one short line.

• When someone says “leaving already” at 5, the answer is “yes”. Anything longer sounds like you owe a reason.
• If the office collects for the boss’s present, say “not in my budget”. Nobody can check your budget.
• Put a recurring block with a dull name over a meeting you’d rather miss. Nobody asks what “Monthly reporting” is.
• To go home early, tell your manager in the morning, with the time and a reason from our excuses to leave work early.

The sick day line

The line Americans use most to call in sick is “not feeling well”, at 23.5%. Our excuses to call in sick rate it low risk, because it gives your manager nothing to check.

42% of US workers put on no act when they call in sick. A plain message is the safest answer to how to fake being sick, because there’s nothing to catch.

Looking busy at your desk

Most US workers regularly pretend to work. It’s called ghostworking.

Teams on the web also has a setting that keeps you green while you work in other windows. It’s a quieter way to keep Teams active than nudging the mouse.