Funny voicemail greetings for work

Over 100 funny voicemail greetings, from polite enough for clients to honest enough to get you a talking-to. Each one comes with the caller's reply. After the list come the steps to write and record your own.

Thanks for calling. Your call is important to me, which is why I'm letting it go to voicemail, where I can treasure it.

Treasure it.

Tone

All 105 voicemail greetings, by tone

Professional voicemail greetings for work

Hi, you've reached my voicemail. I'm away from my desk or on another call. Leave your name, number and a short message, and I'll call you back today.Clear. I'll leave a message.
Thanks for calling. I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message with your number, and I'll return it within one business day.One business day. Fair.
You've reached the accounts team. We're helping other callers. Leave your name, company and invoice number, and we'll call you back before 5.Invoice number. Got it.
Hello, I'm in meetings until 3 today. Leave a message and I'll call back this afternoon, or email me if that's quicker.Email it is.

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Thank you for calling. I'm out of the office today. For anything urgent, press 0 for reception. Otherwise, leave a message and I'll call you tomorrow.Reception, then.
You've reached my desk phone. I'm working remotely today, so the fastest way to reach me is my cell or by email.Then why have a desk phone.
Hi, I can't answer just now. Please leave your name and the best time to call you back, and I'll do my best to catch you then.Between 2 and 3, then.
Thanks for calling customer support. Our hours are 8 to 6, Monday to Friday. Leave a message with your account number and we'll call back on the next business day.The next business day is Monday.
Hello, you've reached the main office line. We're closed for the day. Please call back after 9 tomorrow, or leave a message at the tone.Tomorrow, after 9.
I'm on the other line. Please leave a brief message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm off.Brief. I can do brief.
Hi, sorry I missed you. Leave a message with your number, slowly, and I'll call you back.Slowly. Noted.
You've reached the hiring team. If you're calling about an application, we'll be in touch by email either way, so there's no need to leave a message.They thought of everything.
Thank you for calling. I'm with a client and can't take calls until noon. Leave a message and I'll call back right after.Noon. Fine.
This is the facilities desk voicemail. If it's a leak, a lockout or a fire alarm, call the building emergency number on the poster by the elevators.The poster by the elevators.
Hello. I check voicemail twice a day, at 10 and at 3. A text or an email reaches me faster.Texting, then.
Hi, you've reached me after hours. I'll pick up messages at 9 tomorrow. If it's urgent, call the on-call number on our website.On-call number. Right.
Thanks for calling. I'm away from my phone. Leave a message, or for quicker help, write to the team inbox.The team inbox. Of course.
You've reached the sales line. Everyone is on calls. Leave your number and someone will call you back within the hour.Within the hour. Sure.
Hello, you've reached my voicemail. I'm not able to take your call. Please leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as possible.As soon as possible means Thursday.
Hi, I'm interviewing candidates all day. Leave a message and I'll call you back after 5.After 5. If they survive.

Funny voicemail greetings

Hi, you've reached my voicemail. I'm either on another call or watching my phone ring. Leave a message and I'll pretend I was on another call.I knew it.
You've reached me. Well, my voice. The rest of me is in a meeting about meetings. Leave a message.Relatable.
This is a recording. Most days, so am I. Leave a message after the tone.Deep, for a voicemail.
Hello. If you're calling about my car's extended warranty, it has expired, and so has my patience. Everyone else, leave a message.Fair.

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Hi. I'm away from my desk. My desk is still here, and frankly it misses me. Leave a message.The desk is fine.
You've reached the voicemail of someone who will text you back. Please leave a message, and expect a text.Naturally.
Hi, I can't come to the phone right now. I can see it, though. Leave a message.Rude, and fair.
You've reached my voicemail. I'll get to your message eventually, probably by reading the transcript.It'll spell my name wrong.
Thanks for calling. Your call is important to me, which is why I'm letting it go to voicemail, where I can treasure it.Treasure it.
Hi, this is my voicemail. If this is an emergency, hang up and call someone more reliable.Everyone is more reliable.
Hello, you've reached the department of callbacks. Please hold your message until the tone, then release it.Releasing.
I'm not here right now. I'm somewhere else, which is the opposite of here. Leave a message and I'll come back here to hear it.That's not how here works.
You've reached my phone. It's in my bag, under my lunch. Leave a message and I'll dig it out by 2.Under the lunch.
Hi. Please leave a message after the beep. The beep is coming. Any second now. There it is.I wasn't ready.
Hello, you're through to my voicemail, the only part of me that never takes a sick day.Loyal, at least.
You've reached me at my most available, which is not at all. Leave a message.Honest.
Hi, I'm on a call. Or I'm on mute in a call. Either way, leave a message.On mute. Definitely.
Thanks for calling. I'm out of office mentally. Physically, I'm at my desk. Leave a message.Same.
You've reached my voicemail. If you're from IT, I've already restarted it.They always say that.
Hello. Leave a message after the tone, and I'll reply by email, in three paragraphs.Three paragraphs.
Hi. I'm busy looking busy. Leave a message and I'll look busy calling you back.Honest, at least.
You've reached the voicemail of someone who hasn't checked it since 2019. Brave of you.Email, then.
Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Please speak clearly and briefly, unlike our last meeting.Ouch.
Hello, I'm in a focus block. Your call has been focused into voicemail.Focused. Sure.
You've reached my desk line. Since hot desking, I don't know where the desk is either. Leave a message.Nobody knows where anything is.

Out of office voicemail greetings

Hi, I'm on vacation this week and not checking voicemail. For urgent matters, please call the main office. I'll return messages when I'm back.Lucky.
Thanks for calling. I'm away until Monday. If it can't wait, press 0 to reach someone who isn't on a beach.Pressing 0.
You've reached my voicemail. I'm out for the holidays and back in the new year. Leave a message, or email the team inbox for anything urgent.Happy holidays to you too.
Our office is closed for the public holiday. We'll return messages when we reopen on the next business day.Tomorrow, then.

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Hi, I'm on parental leave. My voicemail isn't being checked, so please call the main number and ask for the team covering my work.Congratulations.
Thank you for calling. I'm at a conference this week and rarely near my phone. Please email me, and I'll reply in the evening.Enjoy the free coffee.
I'm off sick today and won't be listening to messages. Please call the front desk if you need help today.Feel better.
Hi, I'm traveling for work and may be in a different time zone. Leave a message and I'll call back at a sensible hour for both of us.Sensible for whom.
You've reached me on a day off. Leave a message and I'll call back tomorrow. If it's on fire, call the office.Nothing's on fire. Yet.
Hello, I've left the company, and nobody listens to this line anymore. Please call the main office to be put through to my replacement.Good luck to them.
Happy holidays. The office is closed until January 2. Leave a message and we'll call you back once we're open.January 2. Got it.
I'm out of the office until next week, somewhere with no signal on purpose. Leave a message, and I'll call back refreshed.On purpose.
Hi, I'm on my honeymoon. If this is about work, it can wait. If it's about the wedding, thank you.It can wait.
Thanks for calling. I'm part time, and today is one of my days off. I'll return your call on my next working day.Thursday, probably.
You've reached my voicemail during the summer shutdown. We're back in two weeks. Enjoy the quiet.I will.

Short voicemail greetings

Leave a message. I'll call back.Efficient.
It's me. Not now. Message.Charming.
You know what to do.I do. I'll email.
Speak after the beep, or don't.Don't, then.

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Sorry I missed you. Text me.Texting.
Can't talk. Leave your number.Done.
Away. Message. Thanks.Three words. Respect.
I'm not here, but the tone is. Leave a message.Hello, tone.
Hi. Message, please. Back soon.Soon.
You've reached me, technically.Technically.
Voicemail. You know the drill.The drill is email.
Leave it at the tone.Leaving it.
Missed you. I'll call back today.Today. Sure.
Not here. Text is faster.Fine.
Talk to the tone.The tone isn't listening.

Honest voicemail greetings

I screen my calls, and you're being screened right now. Leave a message and pass the screening.I'm not passing.
If I don't know your number, I'll listen to this before deciding whether to call back. Make it good.No pressure.
I don't check voicemail. Please text. This greeting is the last thing I recorded on purpose.Fine. A text.
Nobody under 40 listens to voicemail. I'm over 40 and I don't either. Text me.Good to know.

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I'm probably in a meeting. If I'm not, I'm recovering from one. Leave a message.Recovering. Sure.
Hi. Unknown numbers go to voicemail, because nine in ten are about a car I don't own.I'm not the car.
I'm on the phone with someone who called before you. Their call isn't more important than yours. They just got here first.In line, then.
Leave a message. I'll listen to the first ten seconds, so put the point first.Point first. Got it.
You've reached my voicemail. I'll call back once I've worked out who you are from the number.It's me. The boss.
Hi. My phone's on Do Not Disturb, and so am I. Leave a message.Disturbing anyway.
I don't answer calls I wasn't expecting. Book a time in my calendar and I'll answer that one.Book a time to call.
If you're calling to ask whether I got your email, I got your email.Fair. And rude.
I'll call you back, but first I'll text to ask if now is a good time.It was a good time.
Please don't leave a voicemail. Text me the same words and I'll read them faster.Hanging up.
Hello, you've reached a phone I mostly use as a flashlight. Leave a message anyway.A flashlight.

Unhinged voicemail greetings

You've reached the voicemail of someone who has run out of patience for phone calls. Please reply by carrier pigeon.Pigeon it is.
Hello. I'm in a meeting that should have been a memo. Leave a message that should have been a text.Touché.
You've reached me. Unfortunately, I've also reached quarter end. Leave a message for whoever survives.Who survives.
Hi, I'm under my desk, hiding from the reorg. Leave a message, quietly.Whispering.

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You've reached the voicemail of a person with 4,000 unread emails. Leave a message and join them.4,001.
Hello. This phone has been put on a performance plan for not ringing enough. Leave a message to help it improve.It's improving.
You have reached the voicemail experience. After the tone, please rate this greeting from one to five.Three.
I'm at the holiday party. I may never return. Leave a message for whoever comes back.Good luck in there.
Hi, I'm stuck in the elevator with the CEO. It's going fine. Leave a message.It is not going fine.
You've reached my voicemail. If you're calling to book a quick sync, there is no such thing.Booking it anyway.
Hello. I'm in a two-hour meeting about saving time. Leave a message and I'll get back to you in two hours.Saving time.
You've reached me in the office, against my will. Leave a message.Same.
Hi, I can't come to the phone. I'm busy circling back. I'll circle back to you too.Never, then.
You've reached someone whose job title changed this morning. Leave a message for the new them.Congratulations, I think.
Please leave your message after the tone. The tone has been asked to do more with less.Haven't we all.

How to write a voicemail greeting

What a work greeting needs

A work greeting needs four things. If you add a joke, put it first.

Who they’ve reached: your name, or your team’s.
What to leave: their name and number, plus one detail like an invoice number.
When you’ll call back: today, or within one business day.
A faster way to get help: text or email you, or ask a coworker.

Your out of office message covers most of these points in writing, so you can borrow its wording.

Funny or professional

Keep the desk phone professional, since that’s the number clients call. The joke can go on the line only your team uses, such as a work cell phone, or a work mobile in British offices. Match the tone to your email sign-offs. A joke greeting from someone who signs every email “Kind regards” sounds like a different person. If you’re out sick or away for a week, record a separate greeting. It does the job of an OOO email for anyone who calls.

Who listens to voicemail now

Unknown numbers ring out

Most people won’t pick up a number they don’t recognize. So when a stranger calls you, your greeting is often the first thing they hear.

People who	Share
Answer an unknown number right away	14%
Let it ring and wait for a voicemail	41%
Decline it at once	28%
Often or always let calls go to voicemail (US)	61%
Screen calls even from people they know, coworkers too	47%
Were told in the past year they’re hard to reach	46%

Younger callers text back

Younger people would rather get a voice message or a text than a call. A greeting that says “text me” offers them the option they’d pick anyway.

Who	Share
UK 18 to 34s who never answer voice calls	23%
UK 18 to 24s who prefer a voice message to a call	37%
UK 35 to 54s, same choice	1%
UK 18 to 34s who think a surprise call from family or friends means bad news	56%
Gen Z who let a call ring out, then text back	27%
Boomers who do the same	7%

How to record a voicemail greeting

On an iPhone

Open the Phone app, go to Voicemail and tap Greeting. Then choose Custom and tap Record. In the newer layout, tap Edit, then Edit Voicemail Greeting. Some carriers don’t let you record your own.

On Android

On most Android phones, Samsung Galaxy included, you record the greeting through your carrier’s voicemail. Hold 1 on the dialpad, then follow the menu. A Pixel 6 or later also has Take a Message, which answers missed calls with a custom greeting up to 60 seconds long.

In Microsoft Teams

Select Settings and more, then Settings. Go to Calls, then Manage voicemail, and choose Record a greeting. Teams also keeps a separate out-of-office greeting, which plays while your out of office is on.

In Google Voice

Open Settings, then Voicemail, and choose Record a greeting. You can save up to 10 and pick which one plays.

Questions about voicemail greetings

What is a good funny voicemail greeting?

One joke, then the useful part, so the caller still knows what to do. Keep the joke to one line. Use the rest for your name, your number and a call-back time.

What should a professional voicemail greeting say?

Say your name or team, and that you can't answer right now. Tell callers what to leave and when you'll call back, then give a faster way to reach you. A few short sentences cover it.

How do I change my voicemail greeting on iPhone?

Open Voicemail in the Phone app and tap Greeting. Choose Custom to swap the default greeting for one you record. Not every carrier supports it.

How do I set up a voicemail greeting in Teams?

In Teams settings, go to Calls, then Manage voicemail. Record a greeting there, or type one and let Teams read it out. You can add a second greeting that plays while you're out of office.

Do people still listen to voicemail?

Yes, and a stranger who calls you will usually hear your greeting first. Only 14% answer an unknown number right away, and 41% let it ring out and wait for a message.

What is a fun but professional voicemail greeting?

One light line, then the practical part: who you are, the message to leave and when to expect a reply. "You've reached Priya in payroll, who is fighting a spreadsheet. Leave your name and number, and I'll call you back today."

Sources

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