Fake spreadsheet that types a figure for every key
A fake spreadsheet fills your whole screen with the bill for a month of meetings. Each key you press adds one more digit.
Any key types the next figure. Esc takes you back.
What’s on the fake spreadsheet
Thirteen meetings and one decision
The sheet adds up what a month of meetings costs one team. Your typing fills in weeks 3 and 4. Each figure you type lands within 4% of the planned amount.
The rows include:
- the seated standup
- a vendor sync the vendor never joined
- a video 1:1 between desks 6 m apart
- the estimated value of decisions reached, which stays at zero until week 4, then comes to about 400 with “One, maybe” in its Decisions cell
When the last cell fills
The sheet wipes weeks 3 and 4 and starts again. You can also open this sheet on the fake work screen, where the other two choices are a ticket board and a team chat. In the fake Zoom meeting, a coworker shares it on the call.
Looking busy with a spreadsheet
Why a spreadsheet
A spreadsheet is as common a cover as a fake phone call, and both are more common than a fake meeting.
| Cover story, among US workers | Share who use it |
|---|---|
| A spreadsheet open while they browse | 15% |
| A phone held to an ear with nobody on the line | Tied with the spreadsheet |
| A fake meeting | 12% |
The spreadsheet is also the safest of the three. A fake call falls apart when your phone rings for real. Name a fake meeting “Client review” and a manager invites themselves. Our how to look busy at work guide ranks these and other covers by risk.
Fake Excel or fake Google Sheets
This sheet looks like a browser spreadsheet. It does the same job as a fake Excel screen, because from across the room both are a grid of numbers halfway through a task. If a grid is the wrong look, the fake coding screen fills a dark editor with code.
On a phone
Tap Go full screen. After that, each tap on the sheet types the next digit. When the meeting you were avoiding is over, tap Exit. An iPhone keeps the address bar over the sheet.
Questions about fake spreadsheets
Is there a fake spreadsheet to keep open at work?
Yes, this one. It fills your screen with a month of meeting costs. Each key you press adds a digit, so the cells keep moving while you sit there.
How do I make a fake Excel spreadsheet look real?
Keep it full screen and keep it changing. Numbers that land a few seconds apart look like data entry. A grid that hasn't moved since lunch looks like you went out for a sandwich and never came back.
Can my boss tell it's a fake spreadsheet?
Not from across the room. Up close, the rows give it away. The vendor skipped the vendor sync, and the note on the birthday card signing says the mug budget went to the offsite.
Does monitoring software see a fake spreadsheet?
Yes, if your employer records screens, the recording shows it like any other window. It types only when you press a key, so activity tracking counts your own keystrokes and nothing else.